Here are a few things I'm running across as I judge these contests entries. These are just reminders for any type of submission.
If you are refering to a famous author, spell their last name correctly.
Real people may stammer but on the written page is hard to read and very distracting...so is dropping the 'g' on words ending in "ing".
The grade/high school teaching occupation is overused...There are other types of teachers. Instructors teach the harp, hobbies, GED's, or a job trainer in a corporate firm. Be creative with occupations, didn't we all love Sandra Bullock as a ticket taker and Bill Pullman as a mover/furniture maker in While You Were Sleeping?
Readers don't want to know that the character turned off their car, opened their car door, turned in the seat, exited the car, stepped on the pavement, took fifteen steps to the store...Now your reader has stopped reading.
And writer's REALLY don't want readers to stop reading their work, especially if it's an editor!